don't try to compare yours to mine losing your kids is different
April I lost the most important part of me my son, matthew age of 14 it was always me and him .
Most devastating thing anyone could have losing a child their flesh and blood , my other half. my son was the love of my life that cannot be replaced. a person cannot replace their kids yes they can have more but that hole cannot ever be filled .
Your wife husband can be your love of your life BUT you can remarry can get another husband wife ...what you cant replace is your kids mother and father a person still love that person but its not the same , your children should be the loves of your lives,,,
TIME ....... in time you will heal that comes from people who have NOT lost a child ...or long time spouse..mom or dad you know you could lose your mom dad siblings as time goes on. cause that's life but NOONE can move on feel better get comfort while time passes losing their own kids.. so don't tell a person about time ... this time experience don't compare to a father mother friend wife husband. I'm not saying there is no hurt or sadness but your kids ..its a daily reminder of you losing a apart of yourself... and if you haven't lost a parent..or a long time spouse ...just hug the person and say something positive about person they lost .
THEIR TIME....... GREIF FOR A LOSE OF A CHILD , NEVER ENDS OR GETS BETTER its just something that a person has to deal with 24/7 ...(my) our waking hours my sleep our my the lose of our child matthew never leaves my mind...EVER.... its a dark place with people who thought was friends and family scatter like flees on a dog... making time even longer hours seem like days like weeks weeks like months months like years.. cause a person will find out people are only grieving the shock of death.. while we live the shock... people friends churches are great the first week then die off quicker than money at a casino.. making a lose even harder as a person experiences more lose A SIMPLE TEXT on the phone is sometimes what gets a person hope..a candle in the gloomy world they will be in the rest of their lives..
your time .....your to busy notice the line threw that.. yes we know as grieving parents that you have a life ..but is a simple call or text really take your time . EVERYONE has 1 minute to spare on ANY day... your drive to work can be a quick call, when you come home from work plop on couch watching reruns of big bang theory, friends,or while your on the phone googling stuff on the toilet (yes everyone does it)(gross btw) aquick text of hey blah blah blah..
DONT SAY. .(1) hey I was GONNA TEXT YOU ..
(2) I was GONNA CALL YOU
(3)FAMOUS ONE BEEN MEANING TO CALL YOU BACK or text you back
(4) been meaning too.... do dinner go to lunch go get a beer or ice cream if you will
what that person hears may not what you intended to say what was heard is hey our life never changed we have all this stuff to do ,, and you are not in our plans .. and 30 seconds is a lot to ask for cause we have all our love ones to do this with.. and haven't you gotten better by know its been a month year what ever ....grieving for a lose of a child is a lifetime.. imagine that if you had to do this and they couldn't be there for you?///
prayers are awesome but.. don't lie
don't say that to a griever..unless you do it and get off your butt (ass) make that phone call make that text plan that dinner cause then we know your not just saying that to us because it makes YOU feel better cause it was like YOU DID SOMETHING...when you haven't..
what to do..... ask them a memory better yet share a memory of them... bring their kids names up. talk about them without the parent having to bring their child who isn't with them any longer..
MY PARENTS ALWAYS SAID TO ME
asking questions about A DECEASED LOVED ONE EITHER A MOM DAD SISTER BROTHER FRIEND ABOUT the disease accident the sickness the heart attack the organ failing .heart attack the aweful cancer.. IS not etiquette AND BRINGS BACK BAD MEMORIES OF SUFFERING PAIN THAT THE DECEASED HAD the greiver sitting in hospital seeing the accident scene planning funeral cause your curiousity cause your wondering ,, let people share if they want WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO TALK ABOUT THE MOST TRAGGIC DAY OF A persons life or tragic DAYS a peron can experience
MAYBE I WAS RAISED different THAN MOST... LOVE MY PARENTS FOR TEACHING me that
and to the people who lost a friend ,spouse, parents your grief is huge , and crippling ..im just letting people who lost a child know their thoughts and experiences are the same as other grieving parents...... lost my mom 30 days after my son so I know how losing a parent is.... can say a I have no idea what it like loosing a spouse .especially when a person been married a long time ..sometimes their lifetime...you can experience the loneliness we have .. and so sorry for you loss, but know all our loved ones will greet us when we move to next life.... if that's one thing that helps you make it to tomorrow..
different losses different grief....but grief sucks no matter who a person loses... ps mom thanks for taking care of matthew till I get there.... most readers will agree that's one day I can look forward too.....
different losses different grief....but grief sucks no matter who a person loses... ps mom thanks for taking care of matthew till I get there.... most readers will agree that's one day I can look forward too.....
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